The Writing Workshop

Good Grammar: The Oxford Comma Drama

This week, Slate, one of the most popular online news magazines, went nuts over the possible elimination of the Oxford comma. The only problem? It wasn't the Oxford's style guide that had the change, but rather the university's PR firm. And the change was a few years old. Whoops.

The Oxford comma, otherwise known as the serial comma, is the comma that comes before the "and" in a list. Example: "Sally went to the store and got chicken breasts, noodles, broccoli, and soup to make a casserole." The Oxford comma is the comma after "broccoli".

The Oxford comma is used in some style guides and not in others. In general, PR writing is very different than book publishing and follows different style rules. Book publishing tends to follow the rules of the Chicago Manual of Style, which says that Oxford commas may or may not be used but must always be consistent. PR publishing, and newspapers and magazines for that matter, tend to follow the AP style guide, which dictates that Oxford commas are never used. If you want to see the Oxford Comma guide from Oxford, click here.

I do find it completely ridiculous that so many outlets reported this story as fact, when the Slate was so completely wrong. Basically, nobody did their homework. I can't say I haven't been wrong on this blog before, but at least I don't get paid to do this.

Writing Prompt: Overwrite like Hell

Overwriting isn't an issue I deal with myself. Bydefinition, overwriting is when the author simply piles on the details and writes in super long, super complex sentences that make the readers' brains hurt. Editors hate overwriting, because then they have to use their red pen to eliminate words. For myself, I generally underwrite. I have a lot of character and plot going on, but the writing is very bare-boned in the first draft.

Which is why an overwriting prompt is actually a great thing for me to practice. I know how complex sentences can be created and I know how to list every single detail of every single scene and character and nuance. And sometimes, I should actually do it.

Write a story that's completely overwritten.

Remember that when you take a style that's not your own, your goal is still tell a great story. You'd be surprised - if you're like me and underwrite, then this detail-filled prompt might actually turn out to be a perfectly fine (and sellable) story.

Now, if you overwrite, then this prompt is just your normal routine. Maybe you should try underwriting, instead, giving only the plot-needed details, no description.

Good Grammar: The Problem of Verb Tenses

Verb tenses in English are somehow easier than most other languages - the peoples who crafted the English language somehow realized that the subjunctive tense (a way of changing the verb to imply a possibility rather than a definitive) would be easier if they used other words to signify it, instead of a change in the verb itself. (German, the English parent language, retains subjunctive verb tenses, as do most of the Romantic languages.)

Our future and perfect tenses are also signified by an addition of a word, instead of a word ending or other change. Adding the word "will" to a verb phrase creates the future tense (I will go to the store tomorrow), while a form of "to have" creates a perfect tense (Future: I have will completed my homework by tonight, Present: The dog has barked at the mailman every day this week, or Past: My daughter had gotten the flu before but that time was worse.) But the perfect tenses are a whole other can of worms, so let's keep going.

The most common verb tense error is when the tenses don't match. In general, this occurs between past and present verb tenses (the ones most reliant on endings), but can occur between other tenses, as well.  The problem with this grammar mistake is that it is a logical one, not a simple rule, which is why it happens so often.

Examples:

• Danny is going to the store an hour ago. Obviously, Danny can't currently be going to store an hour ago - he went to the store (yay, irregular verbs!).
• Sandra jogged at the beach while listening to the Beatles every day. Here, we have a tense shift: If Sandra is jogging every day, she does so in the present sense. That "every day" forces a present tense verb - meaning that "jogged" should be "jogs".
• Before we arrived at the movies, John will call to say he would be late. Notice here the temporal (timing) clues that the sentence is giving you, dictating what the tense should be. The "we" must already be at the movies, because they already know that John has called. Therefore, we need to say "Before we arrived", in the past tense. John, too, has already placed that call - this isn't existential questioning or time-travel - so "will call" should be "called".

Notice, however, in that last example that when you start playing with tenses and timing, it is possible to come up with some creative uses. In fact, many fiction writers will do this as a type of style (the Modernists, for one, loved to play with verb tense). In grammar, though, the rule is always the same: your sentence must make sense to the reader. Most of the time, a verb tense confusion is not on purpose for style - it's just a simple mistake.

Writing Prompt: Dr. Seuss Has a New Book Coming Out in September

Entertainment Weekly has announced that Random House will be publishing a collection of seven lost Dr. Seuss stories this September. Dr. Seuss fans are, of course, excited, and this will be the second posthumous collection for the author. Dr. Seuss died 20 years ago, although his importance as one of the most celebrated childrens' authors has barely faded since then. Case in point: a film version of The Lorax will hit theatres next year.

In today's prompt, we're going to try to emulate Dr. Seuss's style. It's not entirely hard to do, but it's incredibly hard to do well, especially since most of his work is supported by his amazing and colorful art.

Write a story in the style of Dr. Seuss. Use rhyming poetry and nonsensical ideas to create a fantasy world.

As far as why fiction writers should write children's poetry, it's fairly simple: this is a task that will haunt you. It will be hard. It might even be grueling. To be able to do something this out of your comfort zone means it will be easier to get back to work on other projects. Remember one of my main writing rules: if you get stuck on your current project, stop and challenge yourself to do something else entirely different from what you're working on now. It's like a writing colonic.

Writing Prompt: Gothic Romance

In the tradition of Wuthering Heights, today's prompt is all about mixing the creepy with the love. Unlike modern paranormal romances, gothic romances only hinted at paranormal activity, like the blowing window that looks like a dead love sort of thing. Sure, now that's cliche, so your job is to take this old genre and make it new.

Write a gothic romance.

The main criteria for a gothic romance are a tormented love story, bad marriages, a bit of paranormal activity, lots of creepiness, and an overall feeling that something ain't right here. Your goal is to make sure that your reader believes both in the love story and in the ghosts that go bump in the night.

In other words, the difficulty will be your tone and style.

Writing Craft: The Opening Pages

One of my favorite writing mantras is "Don't write something you wouldn't pay for in hardback."

This is never more true than when writing the opening pages of your book. In today's attention deficit world, you literally only have a few pages to grab your reader's attention. A large portion of book readers will pick up a book in the bookstore, read the first few pages, and decide whether or not to buy it.

If you look at Amazon or Google Books, they often have the first few pages - maybe even a whole chapter - as a preview for browsing purposes. This is just the e-book format of the same bookselling technique above. The reader wants to know if they like the author's style, are interested in what the book is about, and if these two factors are worth the book's price. They expect to get this all in the first few pages.

Furthermore, the first few pages are also what are read by literary agents and publishers when deciding whether or not to represent or publish your book. Literary agents get thousands of submissions a year, and frankly, they don't have time to read the whole book. If they ask for the first ten pages, and your first ten pages simply aren't that great, well, that's it. Good luck with the self-publishing.

Some writers spend days pouring over a sentence or a single page. Even if you're not that type of writer (I'm not), you must spend days pouring over the opening pages. This isn't just for artistic purposes, but for business purposes. It's like putting your best foot forward in a job interview - you don't open with your negatives.

So what should you be looking for in your opening pages? Here's a list of things I go for:

• The opening sentence can stand on its own and is representative of your writing style, because readers always remember beginnings and endings best.
• The story's main conflict is apparent, or at least seemingly apparent, within the first few pages. I just discussed the idea of in media res over at the Book Club.
• The characters featured in the first few pages are interesting and already fully developed people - if the first few characters introduced are static or cliches, the reader will assume all your characters are static and cliched.
• The themes are hinted at it in some fashion.
• The quirks of your writing style are in effect in the first few pages, as you want the reader to know your unique voice right away.
• The setting should be set.

Those are the bigs ones. Anybody else have more to add to the checklist?

Writing Prompt: Your Life in another Time Period

What would your life have been like if you were born 100 years ago? 200 years ago? Back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth? Where was your own family during this time - did your family migrate from another country?

Write your own life story, if you had been born into another time period, using a memoir-like style.

It's also a good sci-fi prompt, if you want to go that way. The goal, though, is to not make it into fanfiction. Instead, make sure your main character is actually interesting.

Writing Prompt: Flash Fiction Friday: Prose Poetry

Over at the PFS Book Club, I recently highlighted the differences between flash fiction and prose poetry. In today's Flash Fiction prompt, go more towards the poetry side. In other words, focus completely on the poetic aspects of your piece: the rhythm, the rhyme, and the symbolic images.

Write a prose poem.

Essentially, you're writing a poem in prose form, with some narrative structure. Try to limit yourself to two pages, at most. Prose poems tend to be shorter than their flash fiction counterparts, so even if you only have a paragraph, that's OK.